It's okay.

Today was one of the worst days I've had in a really long time.

I'm in one of those seasons of my life that's just straight up rough.

I'm hearing so many lies about who I am and what I mean to others. I know what God says about me but those just seem like empty words and the lies seem so so real.

I'm lost, confused, scared, hurting, and I have no idea where I'm going next.

What happened? You may be wondering and the funny thing is I've been asking myself and God the same exact question. Nothing happened. But it feels as if my entire world has been shaken.

My anxiety has been awful because I'm so scared for the future. I'm scared of leaving my house. I'm scared of eating. I'm scared of asking myself who I really have right now because it seems like everyone is walking away.

I'm hurting because I feel like there's a solid two people in my life that actually care about how I feel and have been running towards me in this time. I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

John 13:7, "Jesus replied, 'You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.'"

That is honestly the only thing holding me together right now.

I learned this past weekend that it's okay to be going through a tough time. Most people are. It's okay to be broken. It's okay to be completely shattered. It's okay to just cry and cry and cry. You're not pathetic or seeking attention for reaching out to others for help. It's okay to need a friend to just sit with you, not say anything but just hug you. Isolation can be the worst thing in these times, that's when the enemy attacks.

Even if you have no one to talk to right now, know that you're not alone. There are so many people going through the same thing or something similar. There are so many people who are shattered right now.

Don't think that just because you have a relationship with God, you have to put up a mask that you're okay all the time.

Pray when you can, even though I know it's difficult to figure out what to say to Him.

It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel without purpose.

These are things that I have to tell myself day after day and still continue to try to accept but

1. YOU ARE LOVED
2. YOU BELONG
3. YOU WILL MAKE IT OUT OF THIS
4. YOU ARE ON THIS EARTH FOR A REASON
5. YOU HAVE MADE AN IMPACT JUST BY BEING BORN
6. IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY. There's nothing wrong with you.