Over the past year or so, I've thought and thought about where we as a people are going wrong. Why there's so much hurt, hate, and disagreement. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind differing opinions. I'm more than open to hear other people's sides to see where they're coming from, and to let them know mine. With that being said, though, there are certain opinions that I just consider wrong. Believing that other races don't deserve equal opportunities, that women don't deserve the right to choose what happens to their bodies, that the LGBTQIA+ community is hated by God. I understand that not everyone agrees with me but these are are beliefs that I cannot accept or validate.
I've come to the conclusion that the ability to feel empathy is almost a talent these days. Or maybe it always has been, but I couldn't see it through my naive lenses. So many people are so stuck in their experiences, and don't know how to or don't want to try to think about anyone else's.
I had a little bit of a confrontation with a family member-ish (if that's what you want to call her). Of course, it was political, because that's what everything is these days. She was pro Trump, and I am against him and his beliefs, actions, and presidency. Amongst her speech aimed at converting me to Trump-ism, she made racial comments, misogynistic comments (which I did not see coming, because of her identity as a woman), and honestly, pieces of information that seemed to have come straight from The Onion (a satirical news site - http://www.theonion.com). And I looked at her, with tears in my eyes, unable to understand how someone could be so obsessed with her own life. That someone could be so closed minded to the experiences and feelings of others. I don't have the ability to look at someone who is different than me, and say that they don't matter just because of where they were born, who they were born as. I didn't do anything to earn the privileges that I have, so why should we treat people who didn't do anything to receive the opposite things like I'm any better.
It seems like just a select few people know how to place themselves in another's shoes. If you really think about the way that the world could change if more people just cared more about what other people's lives looked like, wars could be stopped, hate crimes prevented, and people actually feeling welcomed and loved as human beings, who deserve to be looked at as equals. Don't blindly follow someone just because of their position of power. Think before you speak. Love more than you hate.
Have a good night, friends. xoxo
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
I Don't Know The Answers
I wish I had the answers to all of the difficult questions in life. I wish I knew why. I wish I knew how. I wish I knew the answers to the what if's. But I don't, and I won't, and chances are, you won't either. What I do know, is the muck sucks.
We are in the final month of 2016, and I don't know about you, but 2016 has been rrooouuuugggghhhh.
January was one of the roughest months of my life. In March, I was told I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Panic Disorder, and was chose to begin medication for it. Depression continued to tear at me throughout the months, with self destructive tendencies and suicidal ideation. In August, my uncle passed away from brain cancer. Currently, my great grandpa has been given only a couple weeks and is under hospice care because he has pneumonia. This year has been completely exhausting, and it's been more difficult to watch the people around me get beaten down by circumstances over and over again.
I am so very privileged, and have no problem admitting it. Which makes me think of all of the things those who don't have resources, a safe neighborhood, a mostly healthy family, must have dealt with over the past year.
And this leads me to WHY? Why does everything have to be so freaking hard sometimes? Why have there been so many bumps in the road? Why do people get cancer or die of sickness when there are so many people that need them?
And like I said, I don't have the answers. I don't know why or how or when things will get better. But, what I do know is that I have to believe that there's a bigger picture. That the God of the universe, who watched His son die a slow and painful death so that people like us could live, must have a purpose. That although life is filled with so much pain, it's also filled with so much simple beauty, and sometimes the former leads to the latter.
God, remind me that you have my best interest at heart. That you love me and are proud of me. That things will be okay. And that no matter what, I have you, and I will always be yours and you, mine. Remind me that your plans are so so much bigger than I could understand and that my existence has purpose. Remind me that I'm safe with you in times where it feels like everything's crashing down. God, Dad, remind me constantly of your love. Thank you for your patience when I'm skeptical. Thank you for your understanding when I'm angry. Thank you for meeting me where I'm at each and every da. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ammmeeeeeennnnnn.
We are in the final month of 2016, and I don't know about you, but 2016 has been rrooouuuugggghhhh.
January was one of the roughest months of my life. In March, I was told I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Panic Disorder, and was chose to begin medication for it. Depression continued to tear at me throughout the months, with self destructive tendencies and suicidal ideation. In August, my uncle passed away from brain cancer. Currently, my great grandpa has been given only a couple weeks and is under hospice care because he has pneumonia. This year has been completely exhausting, and it's been more difficult to watch the people around me get beaten down by circumstances over and over again.
I am so very privileged, and have no problem admitting it. Which makes me think of all of the things those who don't have resources, a safe neighborhood, a mostly healthy family, must have dealt with over the past year.
And this leads me to WHY? Why does everything have to be so freaking hard sometimes? Why have there been so many bumps in the road? Why do people get cancer or die of sickness when there are so many people that need them?
And like I said, I don't have the answers. I don't know why or how or when things will get better. But, what I do know is that I have to believe that there's a bigger picture. That the God of the universe, who watched His son die a slow and painful death so that people like us could live, must have a purpose. That although life is filled with so much pain, it's also filled with so much simple beauty, and sometimes the former leads to the latter.
God, remind me that you have my best interest at heart. That you love me and are proud of me. That things will be okay. And that no matter what, I have you, and I will always be yours and you, mine. Remind me that your plans are so so much bigger than I could understand and that my existence has purpose. Remind me that I'm safe with you in times where it feels like everything's crashing down. God, Dad, remind me constantly of your love. Thank you for your patience when I'm skeptical. Thank you for your understanding when I'm angry. Thank you for meeting me where I'm at each and every da. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ammmeeeeeennnnnn.
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