So often, we focus on the things going on in our lives. I know that every single post on here has been about how to get through something yourself, but that's about to change. Chances are you have some friends or at least some family. They're going to go through some things and that's okay, but we don't always know what it takes from us for them to get through it. I was in church one day and the pastor was talking about friends and how your true friend is not who is running to you when you are hurting but who YOU are running towards when THEY are going through something. It's not about what you get in return, it's about giving and loving freely and wholly, without expectation of anything.
So.... here's my letter from me, the friend of a girl who just went through a breakup to you (maybe), the friend of a girl who just went through a breakup.
You're going to want to buy some Kleenex and unlimited text messaging if you don't already have it. You're going to want to get your priorities straight. You're going to want to figure out whether this friend likes back rubs or hugs better. You're going to want to turn your phone off of do not disturb so you never miss a text message from them. You're going to want to find out whether it's ice cream or french fries that work best. In addition, never leave to go anywhere without your phone, you don't want to risk it. Tell them that they can call you WHENEVER they need to, whether it be two in the afternoon or two in the morning. You're going to want to tell them that they ARE NOT a bother and that you're not going to get annoyed with them talking about the same things over and over again. You're going to want to find a positive outlet for yourself when it gets to be a lot. You're going to want to make sure that you get them out of their house, but also pay attention to whether or not they have anxiety so you know if you should do a calm, low-key hang out or go out and adventure. Try to allow them to be alone for the least amount of time possible. You're going to want to repeat I love you as many times as you can. You're going to want to tell them that God has a bigger and better plan for them. You're going to want to come up with some really cool metaphor as to how they are making progress. You're going to want to tell them how proud of them you are no matter what decisions they make, how many times they slip up and text the boy, and no matter what the coping mechanism (but if it's an unhealthy one, try to lead them to a better one).
You're going to want to rip your hair out. You're going to want to cry along with them. You're going to question whether or not the things you're doing are working. You're going to have hopeless days. You're going to question whether you ever want to have a boyfriend or get married. You're going to need patience.
You're going to learn a lot. You're going to become closer with your friend than you ever thought you could. You're going to see more tears shed than you thought you could. And you're going to make a difference with each and every positive word you say. It's going to change your life. A lot. You're going to grow. But it's going to be worth it because if you're anything like me, you love your friends. You love them almost more than life itself and are willing to do anything for them. You're going to realize how protective you are. You're going to surprise yourself when your advice is more on point than you expected. You want nothing but the best for them. You're going to absolutely hate seeing them shattered and broken and you're going to have a slight hatred for the person that caused this, but one day, when everything's looking up, you're going to be thankful for this experience. Even though you think you never could right now. You're going to realize that sisters aren't always related by blood. You're going to know what real love and appreciation is. What loyalty feels like. And one day, if that's how things are meant to be, when you're hurting they'll be there for you the same way you have been for them.
Now stop reading this, go cry with that girl and tell her you love her. Tell her that you'll be with her every single step of the way. And not because you have to, but because YOU WANT TO.
Remember to keep YOUR head up as well. The tears and hugs will pay off. I promise.
xoxo, The girl who loves her best friends more than they'll ever know.
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